Comparing yourself to others will never allow you to find true success
Making comparisons and secretly being jealous of the other person who is doing better than you. C’mon we have all done this at some point in our lives or are currently still doing this.
“How was she able to get such a great job straight out of graduating from uni? I’ve left uni 2 years now and I’m still working in retail”
“I wish I was able to get a nice car like her”
“Everyone is in a relationship, what is wrong with me?!”
“How does he have so many friends and know so many people? I only have one friend”
“All my friends are earning 30k and I am still earning 9£ per hour?”
“She has bigger boobs than me” – (GIRLS I am actually giving you the side-eye right now from behind my computer screen)
Truth is….you have thought of ATLEAST one of the above right?!
When it comes to making comparisons, we do this all the time and sometimes we just honestly cannot help it. We expect our lives to be a certain way. We have high hopes, goals , expectations and when things don’t go as planned in our own lives, it becomes easier for us to look at someone else who is doing well and has everything you have dreamt of having at this stage in your life. Then that is when comparisons come into play, which then lead to self-pity and jealousy.
Doing this only ever made me feel worse. It can make you feel like you are constantly trying to play a game of catch up with people who aren’t even aware of what success means to you. How can you get over this?
Here are 3 tips on how to stop comparing yourself with others:
- FOCUS ON YOURSELF
Always stay in your lane! When we start focusing on other people and making their successes affect what we need to do in our own personal lives, that is when it becomes a real issue. It took me awhile to learn that life isn’t about ‘secretly’ competing with your friends or people you know. The only person you should ever be competing with is you and only you….nobody else. Growing up, sometimes I felt like life was a race. A ‘who could get there first’ sort of race. When I was experiencing not being on the same level as close people around me it started to bother me, as with everyone who has ever felt this way. This was because I always thought that if I wasn’t at the same level as people around me, for example my good friends – this meant that my life wasn’t going the way I wanted it too. I constantly felt that they were doing better than me.
When in fact, I had it all wrong. I had growing to do. I had to realise that to be the person I want to be and to achieve certain goals I need to focus on myself and constantly stay in my lane.When you start to entirely focus on yourself, you push new boundaries and start to achieve goals you thought you never would.
2. BE TRULY HAPPY FOR OTHERS.
This is another massive one! When we see people doing better than us, we start to covertly be envious of them. We may say we are happy for them on the surface but internally we are screaming and wishing that it was you not them. This is never the way! Remember what I said before – focus on yourself and this includes being truly happy for others who are doing well in the process. It is also important to be genuine when we say that we are happy for others. Understand that there is more than enough room for us all to succeed, it may just take longer or shorter than the other person around you. Be happy that you have friends have so much amazing things happening in their lives. Yes, I understand that it may be a lot harder for you to be happy for someone else when it feels like your life is falling apart. You’re only human! However, realise that whatever energy you put out in the universe plays a great impact on your life and future.
3. BE INSPIRED
Instead of being jealous or wishing you was someone else, make their achievements inspire you to do better. Our energy feeds off the people we spend the most time around. Therefore, if you have people in your life who are constantly doing great things, your brain will also work harder to also achieve great things. I am always inspired and motivated by what my friends are doing, if you’re not, you probably should find friends that will do that for you.
I know life can be a whirlwind of emotions and sometimes that can result in us not being happy with certain circumstances happening in our lives. However, if we consistently focus on ourselves and make sure that we are the only one that we are in competition with then we will always win. Life is not a race, nor is it about who can get to the finish line first. The only way we win, is if we focus on ourselves.