Who had that friend that they thought they would have forever in their lives?
All of you reading this right?
When “Best Friend” by Young Thug would come on in a club you would reach for your friend no matter how dark it may be and shout the lyrics to your friend while snapchatting of course.
Then suddenly you get in a massive argument, you start to drift or maybe you find out they are not the person you thought there was – and boom there it is. You lost your best friend, your best friend, your best friend” – if any of you guys know the lyrics. To be honest I just did a google search of that song and thought it was the most appropriate – I mean…I must admit I’m not the most up to date person when it comes to songs, I’m still in my 90s/2000s Rnb phase, I’m sorry!
However, when we were younger, our friends felt like they were everything to us. I had that one fiend growing up who would see each other at school all day, after school she would come to my house until her mum picked her up after she had finished work and we would still find ourselves on the phone texting each other before we got to bed – to repeat the same thing over again the next day.
Then as you get older, your life changes and so does your priorities. But if you constantly make time and our always growing together and being there for each other – that relationship should never change.
As I got older, I understood that a friendship is like a full-on relationship. you invest so much of your time and energy into that one person or a group of people. You will have arguments, disagreements, you’ll share some of the best moments of your life and tell them things no one else will ever know.
You need to realise that if that friend or a group of friends you had was always going to be in your life, they’ll still be in it.
The problem maybe that as you’re evolving you need friends that are evolving too. As you are evolving as a person and as a human being you cannot be going backwards, which is why your friends will always play a vital role in your growth.
You need friends who are flourishing, learning, educating themselves and who genuinely make you happy. Sometimes many of us feel that because we have known that friend for most of our lives and we don’t want to let go, we do everything in our power to hold on to a friendship and relationship that is not going anywhere.
If you feel like you are physically and emotionally drained by your own friendship or friendship group and have expressed how you feel multiple times with nothing changing – it may be time for you to let that go!
Only put your energy into friendships that are willing to do the same for you. Some people tend to get so comfortable with you just being there and doing so much for them that they forget that a friendship only works if it is two ways.
Our friends will always reflect who we are – just like our romantic partners. As humans we are highly influenced by those who are close to us in our lives.
Therefore, when certain friends started dropping like flies when you grew older and you failed to understand why, it was because they were never your friend(s) to begin with. They were probably something I call a “seasonal friend” – you know, that friend you have for a specific time in your life that you always learnt from whether good or bad.
In life, we need these lessons that will enable us to grow from that specific ‘season’ in our lives. This is not exactly a bad thing. If we didn’t have these friends, we will never be able to establish what a true friend really is.
You need friends who encourage you, motivate you, who are there when the times are good, as well as when in your time of need.
Most of all, you need friends who can hold your head back when your puking in the toilet from drinking too much the night before and made a complete ass of yourself in front of the guy you fancy. (Oh boy, I’m sure many of you have experienced that in your life time).
No matter what chapter of your life you are experiencing, if that is truly your friend they will always be by your side. But if not, don’t be afraid to let that go. Well – communicate first and express your feelings, but if nothing seems to change then you can let it go.
Why continue to put all your energy into a friendship and relationship that becomes emotionally and physically draining to you?